Why am I here?

Christmas brought me many great gifts. Among some of the top I would note reedmaking supplies, a video ipod, and some great inspirational books. The books were from a person very close and dear to me, who wants to see me succeed in life and be happy doing it. He had been talking to me about these books, and one in particular...The Why Cafe. It's such an interesting book making you ask the questions of yourself: Why are you here? Are you afraid of death? Are you fufilled?

While reading it I began to think and decide why I am here. I have always told myself that I'm here to play music for anyone who wants to listen. My first memory comes from age 3 when I was watching an orchestra play and I pointed to it saying that I wanted to do that. At that age my parents and I really didn't think much of it, although they did start me in fiddle lessons. I never gave much thought to it until late high school and college. I began to realize that I knew why I was here a meer 3 years into my life, but it took many more years to understand that realization.

What I found hard to follow is doing what you love all the time to fufill your reason for being. Money is needed to live in this world, so I know that I'll have to do some things that I don't like. I'm hoping that I have done enough homework to be able to do what I want all day. The book talked about the fact that if you are doing what you want all day then you won't have a need to retire because if you retired you would be doing the same things anyway. I have never thought about retirement because I do love making music and I can't see what else I would do in retirement but make music.

The second question, Are you afraid of death? was an interesting one for me, because as the character in the book I'm not afraid of death, but I would rather not die now because I have so much to do still. The book explained that you need to do everything possible so that if you die the next day you won't regret what you haven't done. This is a very tough one for me because in my eyes I see things that can't happen unless another thing happens. I think I'll just have to be happy with what I have accomplished on that day and be happy with that.

The final question, Are you fufilled? is a very interesting question for me. I have two answers for it. I am fufilled with my craft of music, but not in my romantic life. I think that with both I would be fufilled, but I don't know for sure. This thought could only be me wanting to buy my happiness. I'm not sure, but we'll see once I get a partner to find out.

All the questions asked in this book really gave me some good things to ponder for awhile before I enter my final semester of school and grad school auditions. Hopefully this helps me find my way to push me where I need to be.