Monday, November 13, 2006

Senior recital

Well, it's late and I can't sleep once again. It's more than likely because my mind is still racing from my recital two days ago...so why not post something. Sure.

Alright, so my senior recital was on Saturday. Overall I feel that it went pretty well. I had some mistakes in every piece, but who doesn't. I did surprise myself a few times. I played some things better than I ever had. It was truly amazing. I didn't have all the people there that I wanted, but the people that were there were very pleased with my performance. I played the Goossens first and that went pretty well. I think I probably played the cadenza the best I ever had, so that was encouraging. I just had water in my second octave vent for most of that piece, and really for most of my recital too.


Anyway, so then was the Piazzolla Tango Etudes...the ones I knew could either be very exciting and awesome or just sound terrible and would make me look like a fool. Well the former was what rang true. Everybody loved them. I ended up playing them probably the best I ever had. I just had some endurance problems at the end. I "mouth farted" as my mom said. I just could hold my embouchure any longer. It was only the last note though, so whatever. I was pretty pleased, considering they were written for flute! So then it was intermission and I was dripping with sweat. I had to take my jacket off so I could cool down, and dry!

My next piece was the Vocalise in which I played and sang. The audience liked this so much that they wanted me to take a second bow. It made all my family cry, mostly because I had been telling them that I wasn't going to sing, and it caught them off guard. I did have some mistakes on my oboe in that piece, but I don't' think it mattered because the audience was just in awe. The final piece was the Poulenc Sextet and I think it was probably the best we had ever played it. I once again had some mistakes, but they were mostly due to a lack of focus on my part, because I had been focusing for more than an hour by then. I was just ready to be done!

Anyway, as I said, I think it went really well and that everyone enjoyed it. Hoke thought it was great, which was encouraging for me because usually she has lots to say, and this time there wasn't much. A couple phrase ending things, and wanting some more musicality in technical sections, but that was it. She thought my tone had gotten a lot better and she really liked my low notes. That really made me feel awesome inside. She's one of my hardest critics besides myself. She's heard me since the beginning and knows my weaknesses almost better than me, and she tells it like it is.

Now it's time to focus on my audition material. I have about 10 weeks until my first audition, and I want to be perfect so I have my choice over where I want to go. We'll see what happens...

Friday, November 10, 2006

life happens...


Life happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. No matter how much you resist and try to make things go completely your way, you can't win. I've always known this, but wanted to act as god and change things. It never worked. Not one time, but I kept trying. Finally this week I said, you know what, you need to just let things happen, and go with it. I was playing the why game to try and fix things, but it just made me more upset with myself. For example Why didn't I practice more? Well, I had conductors at my throat, papers to write, and kids to teach. It all sounds reasonable, but seriously, why didn't I practice more? The only reasonable answer I can come up with is that Life Happens. There's not much to it. It seems quite simple, yet it answers the question. I know this question of practicing will come up in a couple weeks when I'm home for break and I should be getting ready for auditions, but instead I'll be hanging with family and doing other things.....why, because Life Happens! It's so true, and yet I have to continue to remind myself that I'm not the one at fault. I have to let life happen or else I become a bubble person. Someone who's life is controlled down to the nano second.

Anyway, my recital is in a day and this week has been quite stressful and I'm trying to just keep in mind that everyone is human and we all have our life happens moments, so I shouldn't sweat the small stuff and just go out there and play my best! We'll see what happens.