Life happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. No matter how much you resist and try to make things go completely your way, you can't win. I've always known this, but wanted to act as god and change things. It never worked. Not one time, but I kept trying. Finally this week I said, you know what, you need to just let things happen, and go with it. I was playing the why game to try and fix things, but it just made me more upset with myself. For example Why didn't I practice more? Well, I had conductors at my throat, papers to write, and kids to teach. It all sounds reasonable, but seriously, why didn't I practice more? The only reasonable answer I can come up with is that Life Happens. There's not much to it. It seems quite simple, yet it answers the question. I know this question of practicing will come up in a couple weeks when I'm home for break and I should be getting ready for auditions, but instead I'll be hanging with family and doing other things.....why, because Life Happens! It's so true, and yet I have to continue to remind myself that I'm not the one at fault. I have to let life happen or else I become a bubble person. Someone who's life is controlled down to the nano second.
Anyway, my recital is in a day and this week has been quite stressful and I'm trying to just keep in mind that everyone is human and we all have our life happens moments, so I shouldn't sweat the small stuff and just go out there and play my best! We'll see what happens.
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